Stumbling Along

I haven't posted in a couple weeks. I haven't had anything funny happen to me lately and haven't thought of anything entertaining. So I haven't written.

If I were to be honest with myself, I would probably have to say that I've been avoiding writing.

Right now Will and I are both just kind of stumbling along. Waiting. Stumbling and waiting for God to show up. Or at least let us know that "this is the way; walk in it."

We are both incredibly disappointed. We both feel that we were made to do much more than we are doing right now. We feel like we have worked so hard and don't have much to show for it.

Poor Will. After working his tail off to get his MDiv and learn Greek and Hebrew, he now has to be at work at 5am at least two mornings a week to unload dog kibble off of a truck. His schedule changes each week and we are very lucky if we get one day off together. He has to listen to grouchy customers complain all day and I'm sure they treat their pets better than they treat Will. And possibly the worse thing for me is that Will is not able to use his gifts there. He comes up with great ideas of how to make the store better but no one listens to him. All of the store decisions are made from a corporate office in Arizona... even the thermostat is controlled there too. Discouraging.

But, we are both very thankful that Will has a job. So many people don't. It helps to pay the bills while it also humbles and refines Will's character. Priceless, right? Honestly, I usually don't think so.

And for me. I'm beginning to lose hope for the young men I work with. And that is killing me. Not to mention that I'm am cussed out on almost a daily basis and threatened on many occasions. They are resistant to meet with me and reject anything I offer them. I don't know how much longer I will be able to do this.

I keep telling myself to hold on. Wait until Will gets a better job so that I can go into private practice.

But then I start beating myself up because I'm "giving up" on these kids. If I don't help them, who will? And then I have to remind myself that I am not Jesus. I can't be their savior. People even rejected Jesus when he walked on the earth. People still reject Him today.

If I stop to think too much about the depravity I have seen in the past 3 1/2 years, I immediately become tearful. It truly is overwhelming. And my only response is, "come quickly, Lord Jesus!"

So, right now, I'm a mess... I'm a mess; my house is a mess; my paperwork is a mess... You get the picture.

If you think about it, please pray for us. Please pray that God, in His perfect timing, will provide Will with a better job. And please pray that we will be patient and faithful while we stumble along, waiting for His timing. And I could probably use a little more hope (or a better job) too.

Thanks.