When Enough is Enough

Ever feel like the smallest thing can just put you over the edge? I'm there right now. With trying to finish up everything at work, looking for another job, (thinking about) getting ready for the baby, and trying to muster up some energy to clean my house, I feel like I cannot handle one more thing.
Last night I came home from work late around 7:00ish and Will was trying to take a nap (He had to be at work yesterday at 4:00am!) I decided to be a good wife and took the dogs outside so the house would be quiet. When I walked outside, my front yard looked like downtown Mobile after a Mardi Gras parade. There was trash and paper everywhere. I stood baffled for a few seconds and then looked to the little lab sitting to the left of me.... AMELIA!!!! Apparently we had received some type of package and on one of her earlier ventures outside she decided to take care of it for us. I looked around the yard again and noticed that all of the paper wasn't actually paper... it was baby bibs and onsies... covered in mud. Ralph Lauren onsies to be exact.
As I was about to collapse into tears a neighbor approached for a neighborly chat. I held myself together and began gathering the sad, little muddy clothes from all over the yard. The neighbor offered his empathy and support but refused to adopt Amelia. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found the card in the grass. The package was from my sweet brother and sister-in-law. It made me want to cry even more. I held it together though and finished my conversation with my very chatty neighbor.
When I went inside, I threw out all of my productive plans for the evening and decided to eat chicken nachos and ice cream with strawberries and watch the Bachelorette.
(I ended not being able to sleep and was stressing out over all that I didn't get done so I got up about 11:30pm and cleaned for about an hour.)

In Need of Direction

Last Wednesday, my heart stopped for a moment as I received some pretty difficult news. (Don't worry, the baby is fine. Praise the Lord!) My agency is doing some "restructuring" and eliminating two treatment units... and one therapist... ME. This news came exactly 4 weeks before my due date.

Of course they said "it's nothing personal" and absolutely not based on my performance. It's not me... It's them. Actually, it IS me because I'm the therapist with the least amount of seniority. I've been there 9 months while the next in line has been there 7 years. So, it was pretty clear who had to go. It just really stinks being the low man on the totem pole.

So now I feel a little lost and incredibly scared. I'm not sure what to do or how to move forward. The timing seems to absolutely suck. I'm not exactly in the best condition to go in for interviews and I won't be available to work until mid-August (assuming Trip comes on time.)

Will continues working really hard on his job search... perhaps with a little bit more fervor now.

We would both really benefit from your prayers and some direction. We are truly having to lean on the Lord and look to Him to meet our needs... and pay our bills. It is so hard let go of worry and actually trust that He is good. But, He has always provided for all of our needs and will continue to do so. We are more than lilies.

5 weeks and random thoughts

My due date is now just 5 weeks from today. It feels like time is going by very quickly now... maybe too quickly since we have SO much left to do. Will and I completed our Childbirth Preparation Class at the hospital last week and afterward went up to see the babies in the nursery. It was after 9:00pm and the nursery was packed. There were babies everywhere being swaddled, changed, weighed, etc. We both walked away feeling more excited about baby Trip. I have always felt really nervous holding newborns but after seeing how rough the nurses were with the babies, it helped me to see that they are not quite a fragile as I thought.
And, for those of you who don't know, we have (finally) decided on a name. The baby is going to be William Douglas III and we are going to call him Trip. Well, I guess I should say that everyone except for Will is going to call him Trip. Will wants to call him Will when its just the two of them. It can be their special thing.
We've joked that Trip's first word is going to be "Off!" since we say it so much to Amelia. It's probably going to be a toss up between "Off!" and "No!"
I had two coworkers tell me the other day that we are going to have to get rid of our cats. They believe that cats try to get the milk out of the baby's mouth and can suffocate him while trying to do this. Really??? I think it's an Old Wives Tale but I now have one more thing to worry about. Well, we're not planning on shipping the cats off... yet. We'll just have to keep them out of the nursery and out of Trip's mouth.

Superman

I don't know if everyone knows this, but I am married to Superman. Every day he amazes me with his super strengths and skills. Yesterday was no exception.
In the morning, he got up early and painted my toenails for me before I went to work. (It's getting really uncomfortable for me to bend over and reach my toes.)
He worked on the nursery for 12 hours straight insulating and hanging dry wall. It was probably about 100 degrees in there since we have the vents closed and the window unit is jammed full of pieces of plaster and dust. And did I mention that it was his day off?
Last night he rescued a baby Starling that I found in the basement. We have a nest of them in the eave of our house and I guess this baby fell down through the walls to the basement. Our cats were circling in and Will came in just in time to carry it to safety (using gloves, of course.) And he knew just what to do to make sure that its mother would find it and save it.
My hero!

A Lesson in Tact

I had another interesting conversation in my group therapy session with my residents yesterday.

Girl: Ms. Cheryl! You're getting fat!... (pause)... Is that okay for me to tell you that you are getting fat?

Me: When is it ever okay to tell someone that they are getting fat?

Girl: Well, you ARE as big as a warehouse!!!


Hmph... I should've just left it at fat.

Practice Run

Last Tuesday found me at the hospital. My doctor had sent me there to be monitored for an hour. That hour turned into almost 8 and involved lots of tests, 2 ultrasounds, an IV and a shot. I was having very small contractions but couldn't really feel them. It was such a surreal day. I was hooked up to machines, had fluids running in me, had nurses and a doctor coming in and out all day and I felt perfectly fine. I wasn't even worried. Wouldn't it be nice if labor was really like that. Poor Will was stuck at work and calling me every chance he could to get an update. My superhero mother-in-law sat with me, advocated for me and brought me lunch, cookies and limitless drinks (when they FINALLY let me eat). At the end of the day, everything checked out okay. I was fine and the baby was fine. We have been so blessed with health! If nothing else, it was a good opportunity to rest and try out the hospital where I plan to deliver. I'd say the hospital, medical staff and my mother-in-law all passed the inspection test. Let's just hope I don't have to go back there for about 12 more weeks!

A different world

22 Weeks

Yesterday during group therapy I had a very interesting conversation with some of my clients.

Girl #1: Dang, Ms. Cheryl! You're getting big.

Me: It's great to see you too!

Girl #2: It's not supposed to be round like that.

Me: (Silence... Wasn't quite sure what to say to that.)

Girl #1: Can I see your stomach?

Me: No.

Girl #2: (A little later) I hope you're engaged.

Girl #1: Girl, don't you know that Ms. Cheryl is married?

Me: Yes, I've been married for almost 4 years.

Girl #2: Does your husband know about it?

Me: (Laughing and joking) How could he look at me and not know? Yes, he knows and he's very excited about it.